Saturday, September 30, 2006

conqueror

Ahh...lovely morning. Should be out running now--but sis wants to sleep in. Poor dear. I'll let her have her rest. :P

Well, had a Brain, Brave, Brawn competition in church last nite. For the Brave part, we had to drink a not-so-horrible concoction of watermelon, buah nona, bittergourd and dunno what else. Thicker than your ordinary milkshake--but just focus on the watermelon taste, and it really doesn't taste too bad. Ate a chicken gizzard for bonus points too. That one, I held my nose while eating it. Haha. Oh, and we also had to hold a frog and worm, run to the end of the course with them, and dump them in a container. The frog was no biggie. But the worm--well, I actually did it! I conquered my fear and held the little bugger between my fingers! :D I'm so proud of myself.

Written at 5:40 AM

2 comments

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

poem: knowledge

Knowledge

Infinite rows of books
a labyrinth constructed with the
steel of knowledge,
cold and unshakeable.

She wanders through the maze,
each step evoking wonder
awe,
like witnessing the death of a phoenix
birth of a star
flight of a snowflake.

Her discoveries are endless
a slice of sky
stretched out for her to walk on,
she could traverse forever
and never tire,
sustained by the ambrosia of knowledge.

But in the shadows cast by the
forgotten corners of the labyrinth,
she sits quietly,
an unacknowledged vacuum in the heart
in spite of the wondrous sights surrounding her,
beguiling her with whispers of power
crimson petals of beauty
Domination.

Knowledge cannot fill her heart after all,
allowed only to reside within the
realm of the mind,
a cool steel prison.

And the pit remains in her heart,
filled with coals of desire
nothing but cold black pieces of rock
without a spark to ignite the fire,
Just an empty fireplace...

Written at 5:08 AM

2 comments

Monday, September 25, 2006

astrology

Bah. What a total waste of my time. To set the record straight, I don't believe in astrology at all. But, boredom is the mother of invention. I listed down the traits of the various astrological signs. Then, I classified them under the OCEAN profile (currently the most popular model used by psychologists to study personality traits)--Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. I added a few more traits (suggested by some Paunonen & Jackson (2000) --Religiosity, Honesty, Deceptiveness, Conservativeness, Conceit, Thrift, Humorousness, Sensuality, and Masculinity-Femininity. Then, I rated each sign on each of these traits (1 for yes, 0 for no). Eg: 1 for being extraverted, 0 for being not extraverted (or introverted). Not the very best method to use, I know. And also, I don't know how to do factor analysis...so I won't be able to find out if there are significant differences between the astrological profiles. Shall learn advanced quantitative methods in future. :D Plus, the information I got regarding the astrological profiles aren't complete--hardly got any information about their humorousness or honesty.

So anyway, I listed down a few people I know rather well, and tried to guess which sign they belonged to. I don't know their signs. Only their birth dates. I can't really remember the months for each sign, so it's not as if I was cheating. Well, not really...I've a very rough estimate of where each sign falls--whether it's in the end, beginning, or middle of the year. So, yes, you might say I wasn't completely honest. Dang...why didn't I ask for their birthdays AFTER I tried guessing their signs? *smacks head* Some research methods student I am...

Well, despite all that, I got only 1 out of 8 people correct. Haha. So yes, that just about proves the validity of the signs. Either that, or I don't know my friends very well. :P

Ah well...if I really wanted to do serious research about this, I would do some factor analysis about the signs. If there're significant differences, then I'll do the next part of the study--which is to see if the signs really do match people. I'd get a bunch of people who have never even heard of astrological signs before, get them to do a personality questionnaire, then get their birthday. Analyze their personality to see which sign they generally fall under. Then, see if my prediction matches their 'actual' sign. Of course, it'd be quite hard to find people who've never heard of astrological signs. Have to go trekking to the nearest kampung instead, then. :P

So, how much time did I waste on this? Sigh...could've used that time to do so many more productive things--like read the Qur'an! Lovely English translation I recently acquired. Will begin soon. Or read Margaret Atwood, or play Magic (just learned it. :D), or play Yiruma on the piano, or soo many other things.

Mmmm...2 am now. An hour to do my devotion. Then, two hours left before I start jogging. A solitary walk around my neighborhood perhaps? If only I wasn't so afraid of rapists and murderers and things that go bump in the night--real-live fleshy things. Ghosts and demons, I greet only with scorn. But, humans...they can be the worst of all things.

Written at 1:02 AM

2 comments

Saturday, September 23, 2006

a secret place

I wonder which reveals more...honest blunt words that strike the heart, or words that dance beneath the moonlight wrapped in poetry, heavy with subtle meaning. Perhaps I have been foolish in thinking that it's the former.

I've paid the price. And though I don't regret it, it is not a price that I'm willing to pay so near in the future. I've paid many prices--some were thoughtful investments, while others were rash impulsive decisions.

Perhaps now, it is time to retreat to the shadows. A place of refuge...safe from prying eyes. Shielded from the cacophony of noises rising from violent emotion. A place of solitude, wrapped safe in the blanket of my thoughts. Kept warm by the fire of my own emotions.

A secret place.

Written at 1:08 AM

0 comments

Thursday, September 21, 2006

poem: worship

Dedicated to Sul and Arif for their talk on goddesses, stars, and worship. ;-)

Worship

She looks down below
at the stars,
pulsing sleepily with little bursts of light
white showers upon black silk.

She sweeps her ethereal hair back,
wanders across the night sky
on bare feet,
If she wanted to, she could walk forever,
her reign is limitless;
she walks on the carpet of eternity,
rules the numerous councils of ancient stars and moons,
guardians of mortals inhabiting the earth
spinners of thread weaving the fabric of the universe
They worship her,
Goddess
Queen
Ruler.

It is not long before the loneliness creeps in
Darkening the shadows
Chilling the emptiness
She no longer wants the cold silence
the echoing darkness,
Once her scepters of power,
now they are no more but
weapons which pierce the heart,
sharp icicles that freeze the
blood flowing through the veins,
evaporating the warmth,
till what's left is a frozen puff of air
upon a single pane of glass.

She discards her majestic robe
flees through the night sky
on bare feet,
feet that can now bleed
when pricked,
but whither can she find the fire,
flames that will melt the ice
thorns that will draw blood
a hungry passion that will swallow the darkness
Worship that consumes.

She knows not when and where
her pursuits will end
but it matters not,
After all,
she is running on a carpet of eternity.

Written at 4:48 AM

1 comments

losing our path

Oh for goodness sake, can everyone stop dissing each other? Bloody hell...the more I read, the angrier I get. Can Christians stop accusing Muslims of being terrorists? And can Muslims stop denouncing Christians as violence-lovers? Why can't we just take a step back and look at everyone just as they are--human beings? Why categorize people into two unbridgeable camps--the saved and the unsaved? Yes, I believe that there is only One truth. But that doesn't mean I go around condemning other religions as instruments of violence. I admit, I have not yet researched enough about Islam to find out what it really preaches. But in the course of my research, I've discovered that as usual, a lot of the verses non-Muslims use to condemn Islam as a violent religion, are taken out of context. This is the same thing that happens to Christianity a lot of the time, accusing Christianity as condoning violence and gender inequality etc etc.

If people do not want their holy Scriptures to be misquoted, why are they doing the exact same thing to other religions?

The Quran exhorts:

"It is by a mercy from Allah that you dealt leniently with them; for had you been hard-hearted, they would have dispersed from around you. So pardon them and ask Allah's forgiveness for them." (The Holy Qur'an: The Family of 'Amraan (3): 159).

The Bible teaches:

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." (Matthew 5:9)

Have we forgotten to practice the teachings of the people we claim to follow?

Written at 2:54 AM

0 comments

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

a continuance

Lovely night. Supposed to blog about CEDAW--but well, the night's too lovely to spend my thoughts on social activism. :P CEDAW can come later.

Have about an hour and a half to spare before I go running at 5 am. Well, had quite a restful time the past few days. Next few weeks will be quite a busy time--working, volunteering, researching, reading etc etc etc.

Been through such interesting things lately. Revelations. Discoveries. Tests. Will be looking forward to more, even though it's been a heart-stopping emotional roller coaster ride. But heck, we're only young once. What's life without a little excitement?

Written at 4:08 AM

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Saturday, September 16, 2006

Scorpio

I don't even know why I'm posting this. For the record, I don't believe in astrology. In fact, someone I know is completely opposite to his astrological profile. But, hmm...quite a lot of stuff they say in my profile is rather accurate. Well, why don't you be the judge of that?

Scorpio

Scorpio is the eighth Sign of the Zodiac. After Libra's intellectual exploration of other people, Scorpio's interest is in discovering other people's emotions and how they respond to the world around them. Scorpio is the Sign of Sex and Death, the beginning and ending of things, and they explore these ideas from an emotional standpoint. People born under this Sign are investigative and probing, often strongly intuitive and penetrating. As the eighth Sign, Scorpio also rules the eighth House: the House of Sex.

The Sign In Depth

The Astrological Symbol of Scorpio is the Scorpion. Like the mythical Scorpion, people born under this Sign tend to be strong-willed and wary of being controlled by others. At times they can be self-destructive, like the Scorpion who kills itself rather than letting someone else kill it. They are very determined, and once they've made up their minds they are unlikely to change them. They tend to be stubborn, refusing to give up when others have long since gotten bored and abandoned a project, and getting things done when no one else thought it possible. In this way, Scorpio exemplifies the Fixed Quality assigned to it. They are one of the Power Signs (the others being Taurus, Leo and Aquarius). Scorpios tend to have their own agenda, and work intensely to achieve their desires. People who wish to change a Scorpio's mind often have trouble because they can never be sure what their motivation is; Scorpios are too complex and sometimes secretive to be understood easily. Within the Zodiac, Scorpio is opposite Taurus, the Sign of Possessions. While both Signs can be possessive, Taurus is concerned with personal property and Scorpio tends to be about community resources and group investments. They are very resourceful and self-confident.

Scorpio is ruled by the Planets Mars and Pluto. In ancient Roman mythology, Mars (and his Greek equivalent, Ares) was the God of War, and ancient astrologers assigned both Aries and Scorpio to this Planet. Pluto (and his Greek equivalent, Hades) was the God of the Underworld, and when the Planet Pluto was discovered early in the 20th Century astrologers assigned Scorpio to this Planet. Under Mars' influence, Scorpio is the behind-the-scenes tactician while Aries is on the front lines. Scorpio's modern ruler, Pluto, represents Death and Endings; it's the Sign of rebirth and regeneration. When the Scorpion loses its tail, it regenerates a new stinger, and Scorpios can be reborn the same way after they suffer losses. In addition, Pluto is a strong Planet. It teaches a valuable lesson: while Scorpio has a tendency to be possessive, Pluto pulls things away.

The Element associated with Scorpio is Water. Water Signs are emotional: they tend to respond to the world through emotion, rather than physical action, practicality, or intellect. Scorpio's motto could be "still water runs deep." They may repress their emotions, but underneath they are lusty and perceptive. At times, though, Scorpio's water can be stagnant, depending on whether they use their energy in a positive or negative way. They may be vengeful or vindictive and unable to get past personal slights. Scorpios are motivated and loyal, but they are often misunderstood and people may see them as dictatorial or sarcastic. If they have an ulterior motive, they can be overbearing, but in a subtle, sly, or manipulative way. Scorpios are both mystical and scientific, a combination that makes them very aware of what is happening around them; they are a Sign of great depth. If they aren't careful, though, their passionate nature may lead them into self-indulgence or compulsion.

The myth of the Phoenix is strongly associated with the Sign of Scorpio. The Phoenix is regenerated from the ashes of its death, and it rises into the sky, reborn. The most highly evolved Scorpios aspire to be the Phoenix or Eagle, rising above the ordinary world and into something extraordinary. Suspicion and jealousy can pull them down, but passion and awareness can help them rise above this.

In their leisure time, Scorpios enjoy competition and challenge. They aren't satisfied with moving along at half speed or lowering their abilities to allow people with lesser skills to beat them. They enjoy difficult pursuits that challenge them to excel, and they refuse to settle for being anything less than the best. In love relationships, Scorpio is caring, devoted, and possessive.

Scorpio rules the reproductive organs. People born under Scorpio may be more susceptible to infections and fevers than people of other Signs. Scorpio's colors are powerful and strident, like Scorpions: black and red.

The great strength of the Scorpio-born is in their determination to see things through to the end. They refuse to allow boredom to turn them away from projects, and they are committed to accomplishing what they set out to do. Their passion and strength makes them one of the most powerful characters of the Zodiac.

Written at 2:31 AM

3 comments

Friday, September 15, 2006

night of uncertainty

Lovely cool night...was out sitting on the pillar next to the gate...thinking of certain things in solitude. Well, not that I came any closer to making a decision. Doesn't really matter anyhow.

Why think of the future? Time to take the days as they come, to go whither you wish, to do whatever you fancy--barely skimming over the consequences of actions. Not very wise, perhaps. But well, you're only young once. :-)

Now, time to get some well-deserved rest...

Written at 4:02 AM

1 comments

Thursday, September 14, 2006

shopping of a social activist

Today was J Card Day Sale in 1U. A time and place where a mass of women push and shove against each other with a mean glint in the eye, as they grab the biggest bargains. I admit, I was one of them. Haha. :P Only, I didn't need to shove as much, I just had to slip in between women rummaging through the bargain bins, and those annoying women who insist on bringing along bulky trolleys--yes, even in the lingerie section. Go figure. It's as if they're planning to fill a warehouse full of bras.

I went to 1U with a friend after substance abuse paper. Shopped for a couple of tops. Then, walked back home for a quick lunch, only to walk out again with my sister to the sale (my mum didn't let her skip school for the sale). Amazing discipline, considering that a majority of women employees skip work just for a SALE. *shakes head* Obviously, clothes and shoes override the importance of contributing to society. But yes, I can hear the indignant shopper exclaiming "I AM contributing--to the economy!"

Oh well...I can't say much. I love shoes and clothes just as much as the woman next door. :P During J Card Day sales, you get to see just how desperate some women are to get that gorgeous Triumph bra. The lines at the cashier counter were long, and the ones at the fitting rooms were even longer. There's only 10 fitting rooms at the most. Malaysia really should do communal fitting rooms like in the States--saves time and space. No one's interested in what size breasts you have. Frankly, they're just more interested in seeing how they look in those teeny weeny tanks and jeans.

So, since you have to wait at least 20 minutes just to get into a fitting room, many people just didn't bother. A lot of the women, amidst a bustling crowd, actually put on the bras over the clothes they were wearing. "So can fit ah? Oh, can fit la liddat. Very good very good! Better get two! Never mind if the same. So good discount!"

When I was lining up to pay, there was a woman in front of me depositing two lingerie sets on the counter, with some receipts. The rather stately-looking male cashier was a bit confused--and he gingerly held up the two bras with panties dangling below with a puzzled look on his face. Haha. Just cracked me up.

Oh, I must admit that I was guilty of some rather bad shopping manners myself. When my sister went into the fitting room with her three-quarter trousers, I just walked aimlessly around, picking up a few pieces here and there. Then, I saw quite a nice-looking pair of three-quarter trousers. So, I stepped in front of the cubicle my sister was in, called her name to make sure it was her, looked around at the rather irritated-looking women waiting in line, slid the trousers underneath the door, and walked away quickly without looking at anyone. I know I know! Bad bad bad! My sister already had the so-called maximum number of garments allowed in the fitting room anyway. Oh well...technically, no harm done. :D She didn't even bother trying the one I slipped for her--didn't like it.

My sister wasn't as bad as me. Haha. There was a girl with a trolley, and a lovely miniskirt draped over it which my sister absolutely adored. She was just staring at the skirt, contemplating whether she should just take it out while the girl was rummaging through some stuff. But, I'm glad to say that she didn't. :D She just looked at the label, and hunted for the skirt in the bin with that label. Of course, that didn't stop the girl from giving my sister the evil eye. Probably thought that my sister was going to steal her bargain. Lol.

In case you're wondering what I got, I got some lingerie (couldn't resist--it's Pierre Cardin on sale!) and some tops (a gorgeous black low-cut top--contemplating if I'll wear it just like that, without a tube underneath...hmm...when I'm impulsive enough, perhaps. :P) . Would have bought some shoes too. But, I was amazingly resilient to the seductive call of lovely peach-pink heels, and just walked back home with a moderate amount of shopping bags. :D I'm so proud of myself. My sister got that miniskirt of hers and the trousers. The best thing about having a sister who's almost the same size as you is the double amount of clothes you have. Heheh. I can wear her skirt, and she can wear my top. :P

And so concludes a very productive day. Being on my feet almost the whole day on only 3 hours of sleep is exhausting. Last paper tomorrow. Then, HOLS!

Written at 2:55 AM

3 comments

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

caffeine overdose

I'm high now. Wheeeeeee!!! Caffeine overdose. Hahahaha. I took two teaspoons of coffee this morning, since I wanted to stay awake as I woke at 5 am. Reached college about 15 minutes before 7 am. An empty half-lit hallway greeted me. No ghosts. Or rapists either. Haha. Well, two of my hardest papers are gone. Two more to go. Then, HOLIDAYS!!!

I felt so jittery due to the caffeine, so I played o2jam. Great reliever. Unfortunately, caffeine intake does not improve o2jam performance. It just makes you press the keys harder and faster. Haha. Still got a D in Bride in Dream. :-( Bleh. Well, I have 3 weeks to improve.

Went to Pay Less Books warehouse sale yesterday. Got 14 books for RM 50!!! And one of them is Margaret Atwood--Cat's Eye. Yayyyy!!! :D Now I've a ton of books to finish this hols. Eheheheh. Plus, I've some other books from the LAST warehouse sale which I have not yet read. Not to mention my counseling and Christianity research which I wanna do too. And also, editing my novel. Plus writing more fiction stuff. And getting to know lotsa new people. Well, so-called new anyway. Just been meeting them, but never really knowing them. Ah well. These holidays are a catalyst for change. Change change change. Change is good. Of course, there're some things which I'll never change--like never regretting the things I do, no matter how bad they seem in retrosight.

This is what caffeine's doing to me--making me type in caps and tons of exclamation marks. OK, better get back to studying. Caffeine's my first chapter. And the textbook effects of caffeine don't describe what I'M experiencing. Caffeine's supposed to relieve headaches for starters. But, I'm having a headache right now. But yet, feeling high at the same time. Not a very pleasant mix. While I was trying to sleep, the words cardiac arrhythmia kept running through my head. Then, I tried to feel for my heart. But couldnt' find it. Couldn't find my pulse either. :S I'm a living zombie. HAHAHA.

OK, enough nonsensical ramblings. Back to studying! Wheeee!!!

Written at 6:05 PM

0 comments

Sunday, September 10, 2006

bravery

Ahh...such a lovely cool night. Enya playing softly in the background. What is it about the early hours of the morn that drive me to write so? If I'm not careful, I'll be pouring out everything here, especially since my lovely floral cloth-bound journal ran out of pages. :-( And it's not even October yet! Well, at least I know what to get myself for my birthday--a journal and Parker pen refills! Hehe. That'll only be in about 5 weeks time though. So in the mean time, everything shall be locked safely in my memories, or else, slight leakages here and there on these electronic pages.

Friendships and relationships...such volatile things. What really constitutes a good friend anyway? Someone who's always there for you? Someone who takes the time and effort to maintain the friendship? Someone who is willing to undergo difficulty just so you can experience a little happiness?

I shall not bother delving into the intricacies and complexities of love. Not right now anyway. Perhaps it's simpler than I thought. Perhaps more intense than what I've always dreamed of. Well, I have stopped my wanderings. No longer searching for a path. What lays ahead of me is limitless unexplored terrain--no boundaries, no marked out paths with signs and arrows, no rules.

Just...freedom.

Written at 1:48 AM

2 comments

Saturday, September 09, 2006

the road not taken

One paper down--three more to go! No periodic tables to memorize or other ridiculous chemical formulas. Well, I made a discovery of sorts today. To those who know me, they'll say "That's not a discovery Su! It's a well-known fact!". Do allow me to relate my tale first before you form any judgment.

I was supposed to sit for my chem paper in Wisma HELP. When I reached HELP, I parked my car in HELP's main block, which in reality, isn't very far away from Wisma HELP. To get to Wisma HELP, you need to come out from the tunnel that is HELP's main block, out to the surface that's filled with rows of restaurants. So, I got out from HELP, started walking, and went to one end, where McDonald's is. Was the wrong end. So, had to walk right to the other end. But then halfway, I got confused, for some reason. And had to recall the usual path of walking from Wisma HELP to the main block. So, instead of walking a straight path to the other end, I sort of took the longer route by going up and down the stairs.

I met my friend earlier while walking to McDonald's. Then, I met her AGAIN as I was taking the long route. This time, I pretended I didn't see her. :P

Upon finally getting out from main block and reaching the gym building, I was faced with two paths: either to walk past Shell station going straight to Wisma HELP, or pass the HP building. For some reason, I thought the latter would be faster. *smacks head* I seem to have a knack for choosing longer routes.

Well, I finally reached Wisma HELP, albeit slightly dishevelled and sweaty. What was supposed to be a 15, 20 minute journey took me about 20, 25 minutes.

On a sidenote, I took the wrong turning yesterday while sending my sister and her friend to cell. My mind was thinking 'Sha's cell'. But my hands and feet drove us to her tuition place instead. :S So, in the end, we decided to just go to my cell instead, since we were almost late. When Karen saw my sister in cell, she was like "What are you doing here?" And my sister replied "My sis took the wrong turning." To which Karen exclaimed, "Again?!"

I swear--it was a culmination of factors that led to my sister appearing at my cell. Wasn't just my wrong turning! Really...but well, the whole story's too long to relate here.

Oh, and I have lost my car parking in HELP main block before. There aren't any pillars indicating your car's position! :S So, not entirely my fault for losing it...especially when there're tons of other cars parked there too.

All right. That's quite enough of my directional and driving stories. Don't make the mistake of concluding that I'm a bad driver. There ARE people who've told me that I'm not as bad as other people make me out to be. :D

Written at 10:59 PM

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Friday, September 08, 2006

rebecca ann thomas

Finally...relaxation. Peace. Solitude. Sipping a lovely cup of tea to soothe my overexcited nerves. Now, I can write a proper tribute to one of my best friends ever--Rebecca Ann Thomas, who's on her way to Ireland right now, probably asleep. So, what can I say about Becks?

Well, I've known her since form 2 when we were clad in those horrible turquoise pinafores. I still remember how we looked in them--she looked much better than I did. Haha. Stupid uniforms that flatten your chest and widen your hips. Can any garment be any more unflattering than that? OK, back to Becks. :-) We were so darn close in the early high school years. Do you remember those times when we used to jalan jalan outside class, just meandering through the school grounds aimlessly...was soo fun. Heheh. Remember how that fat KH teacher--forgot her name already--used to tease us about always being together? I remember very clearly what she said once--"Ish..asyik jalan keluar sama. Macam kahwin aje!" Haha.

Oh, not to mention that time when I accidentally wet my uniform sitting on a puddle. And I had to strip off my pinafore and let you (and Ee Lynn, I think...) iron it out while I hid in the sewing room. :P

Those were such fun times...:-)

Now comes the bit that I know you want to hear most. Heheh. All the good stuff about you! :D Becks is a really good listener. She's one of those rare kinds who just listens patiently to what you say, without judging. With you Becks, I feel as if you're really hearing me out. You should be a counselor. Lol. Despite your so-called lack of 'experience' in certain things, you have surprisingly deep wisdom. :P

We've survived through the post-high school years together. Amazingly, you're still almost exactly the same, while everyone else has changed. I know I have. :-) You not changing is a good thing, because you were quite a good person in high school, so there's nothing much to improve. Haha. But, we'll see when you get back from Ireland eh? The land of leprechauns and free-flowing beer. Not to mention, cute Irish lads. ;-)

Thanks for always being there for me, and walking with me through my seemingly endless crises. You've got a genuine caring heart and a clear mind to boot. Will be hard to find another person quite like you.

Kick some ass in Ireland, girl. Then, you'll come back as Dr Thomas--soon to be, President of the Royal Surgeons Club or some stuff like that. :P Heheh.

Have fun Becks!

Will miss you here. :-)

Written at 3:07 AM

0 comments

Thursday, September 07, 2006

party study party

Britney Spears 'Baby One More Time' is playing in the background. Sounds of happy kids laughing and munching mingle with Britney's voice. My 12-year-old brother's having a celebration party after having finished UPSR. That's so UNFAIR!!! I'm stuck studying chemistry while he's having so much fun dancing with the girls. They have a Twist mat...

Sigh.

This just reminds me how unhip I was in primary school. Haha. My first party was made of 6 girls. And we just had girly chats in my room, and playing some games which I can't remember. My brother has dance music playing, great food on the table, and girls who look more like 16 than 12. Knowing him, he probably won't resist shuffling to impress the girls. But he doesn't have any trance music. HAH!

Lol. I sound so jealous. :P But I'm quite happy that he's becoming so popular. I can foresee him in five years time, only this time--the lights are darkened, and he's swigging some beer or whiskey while flirting with girls in tank tops and mini skirts.

Heaven forbid!

Well, gotta get back to studying. Or rather, o2jamming before I hit boring old Bohr and his atoms. Then, will have to conduct periodic 'checks' on the party guests since my mother conveniently left the house, telling me "You're the lady of the house. Make sure you check on them. Just pretend to grab a sandwich or nugget when you come down. Don't just stay up studying!"

"Yes, mum..."

I won't 'pretend' to grab a sandwich. I'll REALLY munch on one. They're so good...all eggy and creamy. Mmmm...

Written at 7:40 PM

1 comments

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

5 am runs

Lovely morning...just went jogging with my sis at 5 am. Running in blissful silence on dark streets lit by rows of soft glowing lamps. If I could only run forever...

Time to stop those reminisces. :-) Met a friend at the end of our jogging stint, who wondered what on earth we were doing up at 5.30 am. Haha. Well, he'll be seeing more of us. :D

Written at 6:42 AM

0 comments

Saturday, September 02, 2006

story: flaxen freedom

Flaxen Freedom

Once upon a time, there lived a princess--the fairest beauty in the kingdom, with large blue eyes and flaxen hair of gold. Many princes sought after her hand, offering stars which they did not own, winds which they did not control, skies which they did not till. She rejected them all, reducing the men to disgraced schoolboys.

 Who did she love then? To whom were her affections bestowed upon? Who received the smile full of warmth like a fire in the midst of winter? The silk of her lips? The naked vulnerability of her heart?

 Everyone wondered. Some said it was a prince from a neighboring kingdom. Others said it was a childhood friend. Still others thought that it was a handsome unknown citizen of the kingdom. They were wrong. She loved none of them. All she loved was her golden hair.

 It was the vessel of her affections, the expression of her dreams, the source of her identity. Without it, she was nothing--just an ordinary female like the milkmaid in the farm. Her hair was truly like spun gold--the shade of daffodils blossoming in the sun, yet soft as spider's silk. Even the most skilled of court painters could not capture the radiance of her hair in their lacklustre portraits.

 One day, as she was brushing her hair, singing songs of nymphs and stars, an evil fairy caught glimpse of her, and jealousy filled her wicked heart. She cursed the princess, turning her golden hair into an instrument of death that would slowly rob her life like poison. Laughing cruelly, the fairy turned on her heel, and left in a whirl of black motes of dust.

 The princess began to die, growing weaker as the days past, thin as a shadow upon the wall. Yet, as she lay dying, her hair grew brighter, dazzling as the sun on a hot afternoon. Her mother, worried to death for her daughter, told her to chop off her hair. Perhaps then, the evil condition would reverse, and she would be cured. The princess refused at first, although she knew deep down, that her mother was right. After all, what could be more cruel than to destroy the thing you loved most?

 At long last, as the princess struggled to catch every breath, she agreed to chop her hair. She sat upon a chair, her flaxen hair falling past her shoulders like a golden waterfall, spilling onto her lap in a pool of gold. In her hands was a gleaming pair of silver scissors. The princess wept. She wept for the dreams that would be destroyed, the hope that would be killed, the love that would be lost. Without her golden hair, whither would she go? What could she be? Where would she turn?

 But, it had to be done, if she was to cleanse the poison within.

 Snip! Went the scissors. Once she began, she never stopped, cutting savagely till every single strand of her golden hair fell onto the floor--no longer the dazzling gold they were. What littered the floor was now bits of straw. Faded and worthless.

 The princess grieved at her loss, tears streaming down her fair cheeks. But, amidst the grief, life began to course through her veins, strong as a mighty river.

 A small seed of freedom birthed in her spirit. Light and pure. A breath of fresh air.

 She was finally free.

Written at 4:55 AM

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