Friday, October 16, 2009

a stirring

I'm beginning to feel a stirring within my spirit..for the past few weeks, I've felt the occasional susurrus of words longing to spill on white pages. The feeling is like a sliver of moonlight falling on water, so soft and light. I've only just begun to be conscious of such stirrings.

I long to return to writing. The last I wrote was about 5-6 months ago..pretty long. It's been quite difficult lately because of work and ministry. I'm usually busy several evenings, and during the ones that I'm not, I'm quite exhausted and I'll start to nod off at 10.

Dare I take the step to realize my dream of becoming a writer? I was asked, "What do I see myself doing for the rest of my life?" Leading a cell, or doing ministry, is an answer. I can imagine myself leading a cell group for several years and yet not wanting to give it up totally. Sure, I'll get tired many times, but I know I'll persevere because I love doing it. Writing is another thing that comes to mind. I know that if I did nothing but write for the entire day, I'd still feel happy and fulfilled.

There are so many things that are pulling me back from achieving my dream - but I think that the only one that is really holding me back is myself. My fears about my writing ability, and my survival, are stopping me from turning my dream into a concrete structure.

Written at 11:53 PM