Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Emotional validation

I don't wish to seek emotional validation from you - far from it. Ideally, I'd find someone else to invest my emotions in. Sometimes, in the dead of night, I long for a familiar touch, a gentle whisper as I fall asleep...I want to feel free and a deeply satisfying sort of happiness, the stable kind, the one that falls short of ecstasy but lasts longer. I want to be able to cry into his shoulders, if I ever need to, and be told that everything will be all right. I want the familiar quarrels as I fight to keep my emotions below the surface while I struggle to open myself to him.

He would be the antidote to your poison.

Why can't I let you go? I've broken my own promise repeatedly. If I don't feel anything for you, why is it so hard to cut you off from my life?

Perhaps it's the intensity of every transient moment that holds me. Maybe the way how violence and tenderness are inexplicably intertwined.

But then, maybe everything's already over as I write. It's hard to tell. There is a start to this story, but I don't know where it's been heading since.

Written at 2:48 AM

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